The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage [L’uccello dalle piume di cristallo] (1970)

Starring Tony Musante, Suzy Kendall, Enrico Maria Salerno, Eva Renzi, Umberto Raho, Renato Romano, Giuseppe Castellano, Mario Adorf, Pino Patti, Gildo Di Marco

Directed by Dario Argento

Expectations: Moderate.

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The Bird with the Crystal Plumage is the directorial début from Italian horror legend, Dario Argento. Prior to watching this I had only a limited experience with his films, mostly from  catching short glimpses of scenes in Top 100 Horror countdowns. I did see his 1982 film, Tenebre, in its entirety about ten years ago, but at the time I was unimpressed with just about everything about it. I may enjoy it more if I saw it again but as it stands now, the only thing I really remember about it was the incredible score composed by Italian prog-rockers Goblin. Easily one of my all time favorite film scores. Despite being less than impressed by the film, Tenebre intrigued the hell out of me and made want to watch some of Argento’s other films. It only took me ten years but I’m finally making good on that wish, and the wait has paid off. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage is a stunningly shot film, filled to the brim with unforgettable imagery and suspense. It definitely is a flawed film overall, but it still packs a pretty sizable punch and I am happy to report that my decision to review four Argento films over the course of October seems like it will be a good one.

Uncle Jasper reviews: Django and Sartana are Coming… It’s the End (1970)

Django and Sartana are Coming… It’s the End [Arrivano Django e Sartana… è la fine] (1970)
AKA “Django and Sartana… Showdown in the West” & “Final Conflict… Django Against Sartana” & “Sartana If Your Left Arm Offends, Cut It Off”

Starring Hunt Powers, Gordon Mitchell, Victoriano Gazzara, Simone Blondell, Dennis Colt, Celso Faria

Directed By Demofilo Fidani

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A beautiful woman has been kidnapped by outlaws, are you a bad enough dude to rescue the beautiful woman?

So sums up the gripping plot you will find in Demofilo Fidani’s ultra-low budget Django and Sartana are Coming… It’s the End. Yes, I’ve seen 8-bit NES games with more intricate storylines than the one you will find here. Make no bones about it, this is welfare Django. This is the kind of Django you go out and spend your booklet of food stamps on because Franco Nero and Anthony Steffen Django are way above your price range.  This is government-issued Django… loaded with high-fructose corn syrup and bad for your heart. But god dammit, this is all the Django we have for you today, so let’s make the best of it, eh?